Sometimes Life Just Sucks
Can we all agree that sometimes life just SUCKS!? Don’t panic! I’m not a pessimist, and I’m certainly not one to always complain.
I strive to see the positive in all situations because I wholeheartedly believe that life is a wonderful journey and there are SO many things to be grateful for…
But, that doesn’t mean that the positive moments are always clear. In fact, there are many times where it takes months (sometimes even years) to be able to reflect back on all the good that came out of a bad situation.
So what do we do during the in between? Do we have to pretend that things are fine?
I know that I do it, and I’ll bet that you do too!
There are so many times when we don’t allow ourselves to “sit in the suck.”
We put a happy face on and keep going.
I think there are definitely people that choose to sit in the suck ALL the time, and that is surely NOT healthy…
But, I also think there are a lot of people, like me, who feel we don’t deserve to EVER sit in the suck, and I think that is also NOT healthy.
When I got the idea to write this, I was on my way to visit my brother… in prison. Do you know what I was thinking on my way there? You guessed it… This sucks!
It breaks my heart every time I walk through that metal detector to see my brother in a jumpsuit, and listen to him talk about his life in there these past 5 years.
I love him, so I will continue to go and support him. That’s what sisters do (well, at least this one). But, I want to be able to tell him that it sucks he put me in this position.
It sucks that his choices took him out of our lives all these years!
He talks about missing out on the early years of my son’s life, and I just want to say, “You ARE missing out, and I am so incredibly MAD about it!” But, then I think what good would that do?
I am here to say, that we SHOULD be able to say “this isn’t fair,” or “I didn’t deserve this”, or “THIS SUCKS!” without being looked at as if we are complaining our lives away.
We have a choice to dwell in these emotions or become stronger because of them.
Now, I personally am not one to dwell, but I also don’t want to become someone who never gets a chance to acknowledge all of the obstacles I have overcome. And I believe that acknowledgment ultimately leads to strength.
Pain & Perseverance
I have been through a lot in my 27 years; many wonderful things, as well as things that are unimaginable to a lot of people.
Yet, those same things that seem unimaginable to some people, might seem like a cake walk to others. I think that’s why so many of us are afraid to speak up when our life isn’t going so great.
There’s this thing about pain, though…
WE ALL FEEL IT.
We shouldn’t compare our level of pain to others, yet we do it all the time. We think, “they should suck it up; their life isn’t that bad,” or “I can’t imagine going through that kind of pain.”
And you know what… I say this ALL the time about myself and others.
I say to myself “I might have lost my parents at 17… but at least I had two parents who loved me,” or “I may have chronic rheumatoid arthritis, but at least it’s not a terminal illness,” and so on.
But, does that mean that I don’t deserve to speak about the pain I feel from those events for fear that people will think of me differently?
I have many supporters in my life who would gladly offer a shoulder to cry on. So, why is it so hard to lean on those shoulders when I need it?
I’ll tell you why!
I want to be seen as strong, even when I am weak. I want to be the shoulder someone cries on and not the other way around. And I know that I am not alone in feeling this way!
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But you know what I have learned?
That in order to persevere through life’s challenges we have to be willing to accept that shoulder to cry on, even when we’re afraid we might get looked at differently.
We have to be willing to say that “life sucks right now!” and allow ourselves to FEEL all of our emotions.
We don’t have to always sound optimistic or happy.
We might feel like we have persevered if we just move past it…
Let me tell you something though, pretending to be okay when you’re not doesn’t mean you’ve persevered, it only makes you feel more alone.
You’ll know that you’ve been able to truly persevere when you can look back and see all the good in spite of the bad.
Perseverance builds a positive mindset. And a positive mindset can make a broken life beautiful.
I want to dedicate this first series of posts to acknowledging the obstacles that I have encountered and have conquered, and also those that I still struggle to conquer.
These posts are going to be raw and personal.
I won’t lie… I am slightly afraid to post them for the world to see.
But, I hope that by putting my experiences out there, it will encourage others to feel like they aren’t alone; that It’s okay to not feel okay… And that true perseverance means it is possible to be grateful, while still being able to admit that sometimes life just sucks.
I like to think that I am incredibly fortunate… in spite of the unfortunate events. Because of that, I will not only be sharing life’s “sucky” moments, but all of its truly amazing moments, too.
I promise to tell my stories with sincere emotion, and they won’t always seem positive, just like life! But, like I said in the beginning of this post, I will choose to reflect on all of the good things that happened along the way.
I hope you choose to join me in this journey, where I’ll go into detail about some of my most unfortunate events, how they’ve impacted my life, and how I am so wonderfully fortunate in spite of them.
For part 2 of this series click here.
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